Well hello dear friend!
WOW! That felt great to say! Thank you so much for visiting my blog today. You may or may not have noticed that I’ve been a little MIA over the last few months.
I set an intention in January to live out 2018 from a place of alignment. I had no idea that setting this intention would take me on a seven month journey of vacating my business and my on-line community, separating and reconciling again, becoming an employee after a 10+ year career as an entrepreneur and then returning to full-time mompreneurship and falling back in love with my brand…Love Yourself Lean.
Sometimes life forces us to leave the noise of the outside world and take a journey inside ourselves to find out who the hell we really are, beyond our roles, titles, expectations and beliefs, so that when we return from our inward journey, we do so more aligned with who we truly are.
Have you read the book or watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love: The Journey to Finding Yourself? I feel that it’s storyline in many ways resembles my personal journey over the past seven months. Hence, the subject line for today’s blog…My ‘accidental’ Eat Pray Love Journey. Part I.
Over the course of three blog posts I’m committed to sharing with you the valuable life lessons I learned on my ‘mini’ Eat Pray Love transformative adventure.
It is my hope that in sharing my experiences with you that I inspire, teach and perhaps even entertain you along the way.
I’ve simplified my seven months of lessons into three main pearls of wisdom, each pearl consisting of a few nuggets of gold, to help further illuminate what I’m now calling my sacred work.
Pearl of Wisdom #1: Know Yourself. Be Yourself. Love Yourself.
Nugget of Gold: FIND INNER PEACE
I set out looking for peace; inner peace! What I found was nothing short of amazing! On my journey to knowing inner peace I learned how to remain centred and calm no matter how crazy and chaotic the world maybe around me.
Life can be an extremely agitating event and I vibrant at an extremely high frequency that is sometimes unhealthy.
I can be a very anxious person, super motivated, impatient and impulsive. I feel things harder and deeper then is often good for me, which can lead me down a path of overeacting and feeling stressed out.
Indecision has also played a huge part in my life, leaving me feeling anxious, unsettled and in a constant state of worry.
I could see how parts of my personality was negatively impacting the quality of my life and having a dramatic impact on people around me, especially my family.
I reached a point that I no longer wanted to be that person anymore.
I longed to be a little more at ease, more relaxed, and a little wiser, because along my journey the calmest people I met were also the wisest. They are quickly able to put things in perspective, which takes away the sense of urgency and panic of the moment, leaving them more equipped to move through life’s ups and downs with greater harmony.
Having all the answers RIGHT NOW doesn’t guarantee that everything will be okay. The truth is, no one ever really knows how it’s all going to work out.
You don’t need to have all the answers right now to trust that you’ll figure things out when the time is right.
You don’t need to know exactly how every piece will play out.
You don’t always need to see your path, step by step.
Inner peace is found when you meet your problems, troubles and challenges with curiosity about what will happen next instead of trying to control what you want to happen next.
Trust that you’ll find a way to be okay no matter what happens.
There are many simple and practical practices that can get you into this internal place of peace and calmness and in Part II of my ‘mini’ Eat Pray Love blog post series I’ll be sharing with you the most important one.
Nugget of Gold: HONOR YOUR PHASES & CYCLES.
As I continue to evolve as a transformation coach, mentor and leader, I’ve come to recognize that there are four seasons/phases to my cycle of teaching.
Just like there are four phases to our menstrual cycle (menstruation, follicular, ovulation, luteal), four phases of life (birth, maturity, aging, death), four seasonal phases (spring, summer, fall, winter), four main phases of the moon (new moon, waning crescent, full moon, waxing crescent), four phases to the business cycle (recovery, prosperity, recession, depression), and four phases you take your body through during a workout (warm-up, work, peak, cooldown), there are also four seasons that I must journey through to becoming the best coach, mentor and leader I can be for you, my family and my community.
My Four Seasons of Teaching:
- Season of research
- Season of creation
- Season of sharing
- Season of recharge
Just like there is Sunshine in Winter, surely, I can still be creating while I’m also teaching, right?!
Yes! However, during my time of personal reflection and self-guided study, I’ve learned that to be fully PRESENT during each season, and to fully RECIEVE all that there is to experience during each season, we can’t be fully in all seasons at the same time.
Magic happens when you honor each phase of the complete cycle.
I started out in the season of recharge during the months of December & January.
In February I transitioned into a four-month season of research.
Then in May I welcomed the exhilarating phase of creation.
Now today, as we celebrate the beginning of Summer I’m embarking on the transition into the sharing phase. It is without question that this stage is my absolute FAVORITE!!!!! Not just because I LOVE to talk…lol. But, because when I share from a place of deep wisdom it lights me up!! When I hold myself back from sharing I feel stuck; it literally feels like I’m chocking! I become restless, agitated and unsettled.
As I continue my path of knowing thyself, I’ve become more aware that sharing from the deep intensity of my heart, only comes when I’ve fully given myself time and space to bathe in the research and learning phase.
I’ve learned that I can’t teach everyday, and that all great teachers must pause and make space for new learning and creating to happen.
For the past couple of years, I was sharing the same thing over and over, and over again. My soul was craving a deeper level of teaching that best reflected my personal and professional growth but I wasn’t giving myself the must needed space to reflect, create and produce from my new phases of growth. This left me feeling frustrated, confused and demotivated.
So, I listened to my souls calling and retreated.
I spent hours in meditation, days consumed by reading and writing. I sought out new teachers, studied ancient methodologies, yogi and mysticism philosophy.
I practiced spiritual rituals, danced with the phases of the moon, spent days in my pajama’s, binge watched documentaries, ate potato chips for supper and chocolate every day. It was AWESOME!!! lol
But for today’s blog post, I’ll leave you with this very important take away lesson.
You cannot be everything to everyone at the same time.
You cannot be in every season of life at the same time. You can try, but my guess is if you’re anything like me, you’ve already tried and failed, leaving you feeling inadequate in at least one or two areas of your life and perhaps leaving you craving your own ‘mini’ Eat Prey Love Journey!
Respect and honour the season you are currently in!
Don’t rush yourself! Give yourself the gift of space and time (more on that in my next blog post).
Nugget of Gold: BALANCE IS BULLSHIT
Balance…gurrr!!!! I wish I could eradicate that word from the dictionary.
We live in a world that is constantly changing. We as individuals are in a constant state of change. To think that we can hold it together all the time is bullshit!!! (sorry…not sorry for my language)
My goal was NEVER to make it look like I had it all figured out, or that some how I held the ‘secret’ to balance.
Yet somewhere along the way I began to feel the pressure that I was ‘suppose’ to have this magically perfect life, a perfect family, perfect health and of course sport the perfect body.
Assuming the title as wellness coach, guru (o’how I hate that word!) or even expert meant that I somehow had to have all the answers and that my life should be the perfect representation of healthy balance.
When I set out on my journey to teach women wellness over 10 years ago, my goal was never to assume the role as an expert who sits high on top of some platform looking down on you! No! My intention was to become your friend who wishes to stand beside you as a life-long student of wellness, committed to sharing with you what I’ve learned on my own journey of living life well – the good, the bad and often times the messy.
I’m human just like you. To say that I have it together all the time is bullshit! And in truth it would be completely irresponsible of me as your mentor and coach to make you think that I DO have it together all the time.
Because, only allowing you to see me through picture-perfect lenses, you’ll never feel safe enough to share with me when you’ve messed-up, slipped up, or have completely fallen apart.
You’ll continue to hide your failures because of shame and fear of judgement. Never ever giving me the gift of seeing your humanness so that I can do my job, which is to help you.
Yes, the role of a coach is to help you celebrate your wins. But you invest in a coach or mentor to help you illuminate a path in front of you, so that you can move forward from your setbacks. To learn, grow and improve.
It’s okay to fall apart sometimes.
It’s okay to slip-up or to have a setback.
It’s okay not to know what to do next.
In truth, your life will become so much easier once you accept that most people have no idea what they’re doing half of the time anyway, so stop trying to live up to someone else’s facade. To think that there’s only one perfect way to live and that you’re somehow out of balance if you don’t do XYZ…is bullshit!
So please, stop hiding behind your outwardly picture-perfect life and celebrate all the makes you perfectly imperfect.
If not for yourself, do it for me and for every other women out there who feels the pressure to be perfect, because she’s comparing herself to you!
Which beautifully leads into my last nugget of gold for today!
Nugget of Gold: BE YOUR EMOTIONAL MESSY SELF
There’s nothing more beautiful then a woman who’s unapologetically herself.
Stop apologizing for being your emotional self. Supressing your emotions is hurting you!
Give yourself permission to express who you really are, rather than becoming who you are not, just to impress others!
I’ve spent way too many years believing and being afraid that I’m too much for most people.
Guilt, shame, fear and embarrassment, I’ve felt them all as I try to contain my very passionate, intense and highly emotional self.
What I never understood until now is that there is value in expressing a full spectrum of emotions, depth in the myriad faces a woman can wear. And that it is specifically my BIG, INTENSE, PASSIONATE and sometimes MESSY expressions of myself that make me magnificent.
The world is never going to stop telling you who you’re suppose to be and how you’re suppose to act.
Be Perfect. Look Perfect. Play Small. Be Quiet. Be Happy. Be Kind.
It’s Not Okay to be Angry. It’s Not Okay to be Sad.
Suck it Up Sweetheart. Put You’re Game Face On.
Suppressing your emotions can lead to anxiety and depression, something I’m all too familiar with. It can lead to disease in the body. And it can most certainly result in you not living your best life.
There will never be a shortage of external pressures, but that doesn’t mean you are forced to succumb to them.
What if you decided to let it all hang out? To be your big, messy, inconsistent, unpredictable, powerful, curious self without fear?
Well that’s what I’m committed to doing because I know the benefits, as well as the costs if I don’t.
You are more authentically YOU!
The more authentically you express your emotions, your likes and dislikes the more confident you become in your own skin.
The less shame you’ll feel and the more resilient you’ll become.
You’ll be happier & healthier because you’ll finally feel emotionally free.
You’ll attack the right connections to you. The right people, the right jobs, the right opportunities all come when you are living in the fullest expression of who you really are in every moment.
Your magic is in your mess! Repeat that to yourself. I do…every single day!
Give yourself permission to be yourself.
Give Yourself Permission to change your mind.
Give Yourself Permission to accept yourself exactly as you are.
Give Yourself Permission to live life on your own terms.
Give Yourself Permission to start over from scratch.
Give Yourself Permission to make as many mistakes as it takes to learn the lessons you were meant to learn.
Give yourself Permission to reinvent yourself multiply times overs.
Give Yourself Permission to DREAM BIG!!
Give Yourself Permission to do what you think is best for you, even when everyone else around you disagree.
Give Yourself Permission to be alone for as long as you need.
Give yourself Permission to forgive others who have done you wrong.
Give Yourself Permission to forgive yourself while you’re at it.
Give Yourself Permission to leave the past behind you.
Give Yourself Permission to cry, to be crumby, to be ANGRY!
Give Yourself Permission to feel your feelings fully and to express them fully.
Give Yourself Permission to become the person you’ve always wanted to be, unapologetically.
Give Yourself Permission to fall in love with your crazy, emotional, and beautiful self.
I hope that you will continue to give me permission to be consistently, inconsistent, to make mistakes, to be emotionally expressive, to be extremely passionate, to be imperfect and to ask for help!
And in return, I promise to continue to hold the space for you to do the same.
May this be the beginning of a more authentic, real, heart-centred relationship.
Much love my friend,
Your perfectly, imperfect coach.
P.S. Stay tuned for Part II of my ‘accidental’ Eat Pray Love Journey where things get a ‘little-bit’ more personal.
P.P.S. If you have a girlfriend, sister, daughter or colleague who struggles with self-love, please share this blog post with them, so that together we can help each other Know Ourselves. Be Ourselves. Love Ourselves.